The Third Decade: Living Without the Usual Milestones
I grew up watching people settle down by 30 like it was some cosmic deadline: marriage, babies, mortgage, existential dread. Tick tick tick. Yet somehow, here I am—no ring, no school runs, and no regrets.
I always knew I wasn’t going to have that traditional life. Babies, marriage and mortgage payments. It just isn’t for me. Never mind the added stress and cost of all those things. Of course, people have opinions. Some are subtle—“You’re still single?”—and some are disguised as compliments—“You are so brave, living life on your own terms.” My personal favourite is, “Don’t worry, there’s still time,” which implies that I’m in some race I never signed up for.
Here's the thing: I’m not waiting. I’m living.
Do you know what’s underrated? The sheer freedom of making decisions based solely on what you want. Want to take a spontaneous trip to Lisbon? Done. Binge-watch documentaries about cults till 2AM? No judgment. Go to that gig last minute? Why not.
There’s a quiet confidence that comes with realising you don't need to follow a script—and when you stop chasing someone else's idea of "grown-up success," you make space to define your own.
The emotional growth in your thirties is wild. You stop apologizing for taking up space. You learn to sit with your feelings, to pivot when life throws curveballs, and to cherish your own company. There’s beauty in solitude—and also in choosing your people with intention, not obligation.
This version of adulthood might not be the Pinterest board some imagined at 22, but it’s real. It’s vibrant. And it’s mine. To anyone out there walking a similar path: you’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just writing a different kind of story—and I for one, think it’s worth telling.
Stay spooky xo